Tag Archives: lies

Meet your nutritional needs the modern way!

Now, Americans have a new option for a healthy snack. Diet Coke has introduced Diet Coke Plus, the first “enriched” carbonated beverage ever offered by the world’s most famous brand.

Of course, you need calories to live, so consumers must be careful not to attempt to live on Diet Coke alone. “However,” says Becky Phlemming, vice president of corporate strategy for con-agra, “there is an easy solution. Wonder Bread has now created a 100% whole grain bread made from our albino wheat, so it’s still white as the driven snow.”

Stay tuned for more breaking news, including ingredients lists.

P.S. Some folks have told me they’re not sure if I’m serious. Well, I *am* serious, in that these products really exist. I’m not serious about them being good for you. Yuck!