Archives for “NVC”
Brene Brown says everybody has shame, but nobody wants to talk about it. But not talking about it lets us overestimate its power. I am happy to listen to my shame, but I don’t accept its theories about who I am. I won’t live in the house shame built for me. I have a different [...]
This TED talk really made my jaw hit the floor. You may not know this about me, but… my life has been rough. I don’t mean I’m a victim. I mean I’ve been unhappy. Like 20-years-on-Prozac unhappy. (And other meds too.) I sought peace, not as a researcher, like this woman, but as a desperate [...]
I mention “NVC” sometimes. Along with Zen and a few other things, it has informed my daily practice, and feels like a big part of who I am. Sometimes I hear curiosity about what it is, so I thought I’d try to talk about it a little. I can describe what it is pretty quickly, [...]
You might know that I devote my life to love in every moment, and that, generally speaking, I am honest. And if you know me at all you know that I miss the mark on these things all the time—more on the former than the latter. But the path, for me, is reaching for that [...]
When Marshall Rosenberg talks about NVC, he sometimes quotes the schoolyard rhyme, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” I can’t shake the idea that there’s something missing in this picture of the world. On the one hand, sometimes it’s possible for me to remember that people make judgments [...]
NVC (never heard of it?) says that if you want a better chance at getting your needs met, you should make a clear request (and not a demand). And Marshall tells us we can tell the difference because if it’s a request, we don’t get upset if the answer is “no.” So I know I [...]
It’s been a long while since I wrote anything here. Local food, whole, real food made of actual living things was really easy to write about at first, but after a while it becomes something like the platonic image of mundane. I mean, is there anything less interesting to talk about than taking a walk [...]
July 15, 2006. I used to be a child. I had great parents who loved me and respected me as a person. But sometimes, it was scary. And sometimes, I remember. So tonight, I was explaining something to my son, and I said, “Do you remember the story of that time my family was playing [...]
My son and I have been talking about lies and truth lately. (No big shock there.) We had both concluded, independently, that we don’t like “white lies,” or, in fact, any lies at all, and that authenticity is really important to both of us. Yesterday, he asked me whether there were any circumstances in which [...]
Damn. Damn, damn damn. I wasn’t empathetic. I wasn’t loving. I wasn’t non-violent. Soulmate and I got into a heated discussion with his parents. There’s a lot of hurt there, but instead of dealing with that, I responded to anger with anger, and to accusations with accusations. It’s been two days, and I’m still feeling [...]
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