When I hear about Dexter, I was all “Gross! I’m not watching a show about a serial killer. Who’s a protagonist! Gross!”
Somehow, I watched some, and at first, I winced. More than that, I looked away. I wanted to know why folks loved it, but I couldn’t watch the… you know… parts. But it grew on me. It’s a great show!
I watched a few seasons all at once, with the magic of the internet. I got interested in the characters. The plots grabbed me. I began to love this show! Have you seen the expisode where…? OMG!
Then I caught up, and had to wait over a summer for the next season to start. And what happened really surprised me. It was finally time to watch the end of the cliffhanger, and I was excited.
I watched it, but just like in the beginning, I felt sick to my stomach, turned away, winced. And I realized something…
During the time I’d been watching (online, back to back) I’d been numbed to the horror over time. By the cliffhanger, I didn’t wince anymore. It seemed kind of normal. It wasn’t hard to watch.
I decided I don’t want that. I want it to be hard to watch something like that. I want to wince.
So, for the first time in my life, I actually stopped watching a show I really liked. I’ve wondered about what’s happening with Angel, with Dexter’s sister, or the kids… I’ve even heard that **** died (no spoilers here!) but I’ve not even been tempted to go back.
I wonder what it would take to tempt me? Probably some focus on healing and redemption. (Which, near as I can tell, isn’t a profitable direction for this particular show to take.)
If you think I am making a mistake, I’d love to hear about it. I want to learn new ways of living in the world, that help me love better. If Dexter can do that, I’m in.
3 Comments on “Dexter broke my brain”
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Mmmmm, yes.
I entirely get that. My delight in _The Wire_ comes from a certain ratio of “story” to “violence”. Yes, yes, even me.
I wanted *so* *much* for Virginia to see the complete Buffy, and she really wanted it, too, on the basis of me saying I cried at the end. (I’m a normal y-chromosome shithead, and I rarely admit such things as a result.)
But, I’ve known for years, my sweetpea was a preemie, and as a result has an extreme startle reflex. No way she could handle even prime-time regular-network “jump outta nowhere” video.
We got halfway through the first episode.
So, my theory is that i prolly would agree with you. I’ve little qualm with violence that is the inevitable unfolding of a story. very much more problem with violence that is the only story itself.
Re-reading, i suspect i’m incoherent. no matter, my real purpose is just to say that i get it. — love, geepaw.
Posted on November 16, 2010 at 11:22 am.
It’s a dark show, and I had similar feelings with the first episode I ever watched.
I think there’s a bit of Dexter in many of us, and a bit in some of us that wishes we could get away with the same things. Is watching such a show a healthy outlet for the desire for “vengeful justice” that many people have–does having someone fulfill vengeance fantasies take away the revenge in your heart, or does it just foster more? I think that depends on who we’re talking about–I find it’s a satisfying substitute for the usual notion that the US justice system doles out proper justice.
Redemption and healing? Dexter is currently pulling someone else into his world while at the same time making it clear to them the cost of doing so. Healing? Not possible unless/until they end the show.
Posted on November 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm.
@geepaw Yeah, my kid likes The Wire. Then, he also watches Dexter. He’s the one who got me to watch. Anyway, what’s a little incoherence among friends? <3
@jeff Thanks for the thoughtful comments. Dexter does provide alternative ways of thinking of justice, and that’s gotta be a good thing. I really enjoy how the show plays with layers of culpability and interwoven cause-and-effect/Karma/choices. And yeah, I think you’re right that healing can’t happen without ending the show. A big part of why I quit watching was the realization that they’re basically compelled to drag it out.
Posted on November 16, 2010 at 2:00 pm.