No matter what

I’ve decided I should go, no matter how I feel. Today, I was more scared than I have been before. The pain when I woke up was strong, and I wondered—again—if I wouldn’t be able to do it today.

Of course, once we got there, I did it. I modified things to match my ability, sat down occasionally, took it slow. But when it was over, I was sweaty and tired, so I worked hard enough, I think.

Anyway, after today’s class I realized that I can’t tell what I’ll be able to do until I get there, so I’m just going to show up every day. I’m going to stop questioning whether I can do it, whether I need a “break,” whether I’m doing “too much.”